God, or something like it

Back in my twenties I was an atheist. 

I believed “God” was something humans had made up to describe whatever lay beyond the limits of our knowledge. As a scientist and rationalist, I believed that as we pushed out the frontiers of our understanding, God would slowly be eclipsed from existence. 

In early 2011, I had a spiritual awakening where I experienced firsthand the reality of God as a universal and unconditional love that connects all things and makes us one. That which when we connect to, we ourselves become divine, omnipotent, heart-centered… and anything becomes possible. Miracles happen. 

It is when we are disconnected from that love, we suffer. 

On that occasion, I experienced myself as God.

This simultaneously blew my mind wide open and also became a secret I couldn’t possibly share with anyone. At least not anyone I knew at the time…

If God is good, then why is there evil and suffering in the world? 

When I reframed my understanding of God in this way, the “problem of evil” was settled in my mind as follows:

God is not the power that runs and controls the world. 

God is the Oneness that we have become separated from that is always trying to reconnect with us.

God is not the all powerful patriarch who created evil to test us, or teach us lessons, or to give us contrast. God is simply the Universal Source of Love that is always trying to reach us that permeates all of existence. It is always available to connect with us, to restore us, to assist us if we choose to connect to it. 

Darkness or evil is everything that keeps us from reconnecting to the power of that Love.

Through every conflict and every revelation in human existence, God has been trying to reach us through the dense dark clouds of our own suffering, fear, doubt and self-loathing.

The process of healing 

Spiritual healing is the process that reconnects us to our essential Divinity: to our power, to our love, to connection with others and to all of creation. It clears away the dark cobwebs of depression, anxiety, despair, distortion, envy, hatred, and helplessness.

It is a long process of peeling away layers and layers of pain and confusion but it has rewards all along the way. Every little victory counts. 

The process of healing is how we free ourselves from the prison of suffering.

Resonance or the Law of Attraction

In this vast sea of consciousness, like attracts like. What is within you will ultimately manifest outside of you whether you are conscious of it or not. That is why for manifestation intention is not enough: healing is necessary. The more conscious you become the more effectively you will be able to participate in the game of co-creation.

What does it mean to be conscious? It is to be fully present, awake and aware.

To be conscious is to able to see the world and know yourself through a clear lens, without the distortion of your traumas and conditioning, unconscious belief systems, stories, prejudices, anxieties, fear, and so on. It’s a tall order. But in the moments the clouds part, it is an exhilarating realization.


Karma is the universal law of cause and effect. It is the future timelines we set in motion with every thought and desire, the contracts we make with others, and the goals and mission we set for ourselves, both on this plane of existence and in between lifetimes. Karma propels us into incarnating over and over again until we’re finished with it.

If you’re still here, then you still have karma to play out.

A convoluted universe 

Within esoteric circles, there is a generally accepted story about the nature of our cosmos that presupposes intermediary spaces (usually referred to as “dimensions”) where the separation is less dense and it is easier to connect to Source consciousness. These spaces or dimensions are populated with beings and objects, conflicts and histories, just like ours is, that we have been deeply involved with and influenced by since the beginning of time, and there is always a certain degree of interdimensional contact with those with eyes to see and ears to hear. These beings have variously been called everything from angels to aliens, gods and demons, jinns, fairies, poltergeists and everything in between. 

We ourselves are multidimensional beings living simultaneous existences on multiple levels. This is both very exciting and gets quite convoluted to wrap our minds around. We came here with contracts to play out and experiences we seek with other souls we want to connect with for reasons the human mind cannot fully grasp.

To make it even more fun, the nature of time is spherical (although we perceive it as linear) and time moves differently in different dimensions. 

All possible timelines are contained in the space of the Eternal Now or Source of Love that is the plane of existence we call God.


We live in a fractal holographic universe with multiple planes of existence of interconnected stories where we play games of incarnation and forgetting, battling a darkness that we ourselves created to make things more interesting — because we can. Because the lower dimensions are spaces of free will where the simulation is free to play out any way it wants to without interference…

Let’s try again.

We live in a free will universe where the choice is ours to become everything we can be. Or not.

All it takes is everything.

Take a deep exhale.